Hi. I'm Wade.

Hello Friends.

I have not been feeling well for the past few days and so I have not been writing. The mood struck, and so here I sit, trying to put down some of the thoughts I have had through the nausea.

First thought: nausea as a general concept is not good for writing.

Second thought: nausea can be battled with walking, also not good for writing.

Third thought: I forgot this thought because I have the dreaded “chemo-brain.”

An aside on chemo-brain for a moment: it is a hilarious but deeply frustrating chemotherapy side-effect. I am not sure how many people even know what it is. In short, the chemo is attacking cells in all parts of my body including my brain and as a result my short-term memory is suffering. I am like that guy who introduces himself over and over again to the same people: “Hi. I’m Wade.”

For a real-life examples here are a few that I have dealt with. I left my medicine at home when I left Austin for Houston this week. I remembered while passing through La Grange, just about half way to Houston. Debra, the angel, met me on the road to bring them to me. There is a story within that story though because I had also left a big umbrella at home, which I remembered at the same time that I remembered the meds but forgot to tell Debra to bring. 

Here’s another little story bring a tear to your eye
I was taking chemotherapy so my cancer would die
I took the chemotherapy, or so I believed
I did my one hour walk. I was so relieved
I came into the kitchen and what did I see?
My chemotherapy was there, laughing at me!

I have chemo-brain in a bad way. I had to take the hour-long walk twice that night. I don’t have any idea why that story rap-rhymed above. It just did. Maybe that's another side-effect.

Hi. I'm Wade.

So anyway. I was walking for those two hours the other night and I had an epiphany. I know each of us knows the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” It’s a phrase we have all used at one point or another to describe why one person thinks another person is pretty or attractive that we would never, ever think was pretty or attractive. Can I get an amen on Donald Trump?

I was walking and looking for a house I saw on my first night of walking. It has a wrap-around front porch and sits heavy, back from the street with warm lights, thick, protective pillars, comfy wicker chairs and a grey stucco color that makes it blend perfectly with the verdant grass and octogenarian oak trees. The porch is lovely and I want to show Debra when she’s next here. As I was searching I found another house with another porch, this one was too well lit and had too many arches.

BAM. Epiphany. The home was newly built, the ground was freshly laid grass squares, and it dawned on me that the owners very likely spent hours perfecting how that porch would look to all who passed by. They probably went around and around with their architects and builder getting depth and arch spacing just right. And in the end, it looked perfectly lit with exactly the right number of arches. To the owners, when they pull up to that new house in this beautiful neighborhood, the warmth of accomplishment and welcome is palpable. It’s exactly what they wanted. It is without flaw in their eyes.

What’s the epiphany? It’s hard to articulate, but here’s my shot: not only do people count on the scale of beauty and beholders, but this statement of tolerance can also apply to almost anything. It becomes a golden rule for tolerance. Feeling judgmental of something someone likes? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

It allows for one person to want a gold toilet and another to want no toilet at all, just stars and a lonesome view. But more important it allows for Mr. Golden and Ms. Starry to coexist without judgment. One person’s diva wears Prada and another’s wears Converse. One person’s Radiohead is another’s Bob Dylan or Neil Diamond. One porch sits next to another, with each being the best in someone’s eyes and neither having a corner on the market.

The real key here to making this a true golden rule of open-mindedness is the nuance of infringement. As long as we as humans don’t force love of a thing on others who don’t feel the same way, we can coexist. This even applies with one religion and another thriving beside each other. I know, it’s heresy. But it’s important heresy to internalize.

“Hi. I’m Wade.”